So I know you’re here for the juicy stuff and we’re gonna get to it don’t you worry! But first, for those that are new or haven’t seen my more recent posts…i’ve started to become very open about my own personal struggles with postpartum anxiety. I’ve always been a baseline anxious girlie (fellow empaths know what’s up), but what I’d been experiencing over the last few months was unlike anything I’ve felt prior. I was CONSTANTLY tense, on edge, and feeling like I was a sneeze away from a menty B. If anything didn’t go my way like down to the tiniest details, I was losing it. For me, this showed up as frustration, rage, and having a VERY short fuse by day. By night, I was nearly in tears daily – feeling a dark sense of doom and dread creep over me as soon as the day was winding down and evening was upon me. At bedtime, I would lay there with my brain swirling, unable to shut it up even though I was physically so exhausted. And even on the nights I did fall asleep, I was waking up at 2 or 3am and having the thought spirals then instead. It got to a point where I started to have some scary thoughts…like maybe my son was better off without me because he deserved to have a mom who was happier and less anxious all the time. That’s when I knew I HAD to do something different. Just trying to white knuckle it or talk myself down was not working anymore. And thus began my journey of trying to manage this in a real way.
Here are the top five things that worked for me to manage my anxiety:
- ART Therapy with Dr. Rey Junco: This therapy is like lowkey witchcraft. Actually it’s highly studied and shown to be effective in helping manage symptoms of trauma. Now before you go saying “but i dont have any trauma!”….ya do. It’s not always Capital T TRAUMA, but even things that are seemingly more minor from our past can really stick with us and impact us in a way that makes our present day struggles more challenging. It’s similar to EMDR through its use of bilateral eye movements, but differs in structure and emphasis. I worked with Dr. Rey on a few key targets that he assisted me with finding during my sessions, and I can really say this is the thing that I noticed the most IMMEDIATE difference with for my anxiety. Like I walked in hyperfixating on something and I now have not thought about that thing in the same way since my session. Crazy. Expensive, long waitlist, worth it. Do it and tell Dr. Rey that I sent ya!
- Starting an SSRI: I was so resistant to taking a daily medication for so many years. I had all my reasons: not wanting to bandaid the bigger underlying issue, worries about being “addicted” to it or not ever being able to come off of it, it not being “clean or holistic,” conflicted feelings about taking meds as a sober person, and frankly pride in thinking that as a therapist I SHOULD be able to manage my anxiety without any help. Welp as it turns out…ya girl needs some help! I look at it like this: hopefully I will not have to be on this forever and even if there are longterm side effects, I’m living my life NOW and the way in which I was feeling while living with it was not manageable. I really WASN’T living because I was so caught up in my anxious thoughts all the time. I also feel like taking a low dose SSRI has helped me take the edge off, and actually allows the other forms of therapy I’m doing to actually take root, sink in, and gives me the ability to think more clearly to be able to use my tools when I am feeling anxious. I feel like myself again and I have seen an increased improvement in the last month since I started it. I no longer have insane racing thoughts, my visceral anxiety is way way down, and even if I do have anxious thoughts or feelings I am able to calm down MUCH quicker and with much more ease. I am laughing again, I feel lighter, and even my family has made comments that I seem more relaxed and at ease like I used to. My only regret with taking Lexapro (the SSRI my doctor and I agreed was best for me) was that I didn’t start it sooner.
- Somatic Therapy with Alexis Kelly at Luma Wellness: Alexis has helped me so much through somatic therapy coaching. This REALLY helped me calm my physical nervous system down and I use the tools she teaches me daily to keep myself grounded in moments of overwhelm. She taught me how to accept help from another human being – that I do not have to carry everything alone. This has been a huge shift for me as someone who has always been hyperindependent (hello fellow only and/or oldest daughters!) Using a combination of breathwork, somatic practices, visualization, meditation, and hypnosis, Alexis helped me calm the fuck down in the realest sense. I went weekly for quite some time and now continue to go for tuneups to help me reset and refresh my skills.
- Taking Saffron supplements: The exact ones I take are linked on the Light List but this has also been a huge help with my mood. I was starting to get depressed by how anxious I was (fun!!!!) and Saffron supplements definitely helped me feel more focused, energized, and stable. The key difference with these is that when I take them daily, I feel the benefits in a nourished way – not in a jacked up caffeine way, or conversely in an overtly chill benzo-like way. I just felt more neutral and like my normal self. I have tried allllll the supplements (magnesium, ashwaganda, etc etc) and this is the one that I have felt the most difference with. There is some research that also points to saffron being just as if not more effective than SSRIs with regular use but it’s early and hasn’t been replicated enough so take that with a grain of salt. Either way – I don’t think I’ll ever stop taking them. Click over to the Light List for the link to the exact ones I take.
- Exercise: Sorry but it’s true! For me personally, fast walking, running, lifting really heavy, or a more intense HIIT class where I’m sweaty or out of breath works best for me. I know for others pilates or other low intensity exercise works better for their nervous system. But I’ve learned that getting in a good sweat and turning beat red is a good indication I’ve done it right. I think for me getting that nervous energy out is the part that works by being able to expend it through exercise. Bonus points if I can do it in the morning but with an infant and a demanding work schedule among other things I just do it where and when I can!
And that’s the juice! If you have questions, feel free to shoot me a message, DM me on instagram, or hit me with an email to ask away!
With love and light,
Jackie