When I was in active addiction I remember thinking: “how the f*ck am I gonna get through 9 whole months of pregnancy without drinking?!” No, like, I REALLY thought about this and always just ended up hoping maternal instincts would kick in that would outweigh my incredibly strong desire to booze it up.
Luckily, 6 years ago today, I finally hit my version of rock bottom and had a drink for the last time. I was extremely fortunate to have other sober alcoholics in my life who could call me on my bullshit and guide me in the right direction towards a life of sobriety and clarity.
In 6 years of sobriety I have never:
- woken up and not remembered what I did the night before
- had a hangover that impacted me from doing anything I needed to the next day
- wondered what I did or said to anyone that may have offended or hurt them
- felt overwhelmed by crippling anxiety on a Sunday morning
- Missed work or another important event with friends or family due to a hangover or being too drunk
- Fought with my partner/friends/family and had to apologize the next day
- alienated relationships and loved ones because of my #1 priority being alcohol above all else
- felt like I needed to hit the eject button on discomfort so bad that I needed to use external substances to feel better
Being sober has given me a life so full I only ever dreamed about it before. It is the single best decision I have ever made in my life. And for all my worrying about getting through 9 months of pregnancy without booze, I now stand here 6 years later, a week away from giving birth to my first child, I can confidently say I never once thought about drinking the entire time. As I get ready to step out on maternity leave and leave Lightwork in the very capable hands of our amazing staff, I can’t help but reflect on how much sobriety has given me. The business, the team – none of that would be in place or have been possible to create if I was still actively drinking.
If you are struggling with your drinking or drug use, curious about exploring your relationship with substances, or if anything in this post resonated with you, reach out to me! I’m here to help and can help connect you to the right resources if needed.
With love & light,
Jackie